Tips For Proper Potluck Etiquette

Proper Potluck Etiquette - What To Do Or Not To Do

An invitation to a potluck differs quite a bit from other invitations to dinner. When we invite someone to a potluck, we are asking them to participate. The idea of inviting a guest to dinner, then asking them to bring food along is strange and basically unacceptable... with one exception. The request to 'bring a dish to pass' is perfectly acceptable on an invitation to a potluck.

Once we understand the basics of the potluck, there may be other questions that arise. Let's take a look at a few issues that a potluck host and guest may encounter.

What Dish to Pass

Many potluck invitations are wide open, but not all. It is perfectly acceptable for a host to ask a guest to bring a particular food, within reason.

The host is responsible for the menu, so that may steer the participants in certain ways in order to fill out the table. For instance, if the host is having ham as her main dish, she may want a variety of potato dishes, salads, and desserts that go well with ham.

However, for a host to hand guests a recipe and ask them to make something very specific is rather, shall we say, pushy? Most people who attend potluck dinners enjoy sharing a signature dish of their own. Perhaps it's a family recipe that they are proud of and would like to share. So, as a host, if you need potato dishes to round out your table, it's polite to ask your guest to provide a potato dish, and not "potatoes au gratin with onion but no garlic and only mild cheddar cheese and a white sauce made with whole wheat only..." 

What You Need for Set Up

Both the host and the guests are best served when information is shared. For instance, if you are bringing a crockpot, be sure your host knows you will need an outlet. If you are bringing a salad that needs to be kept cold, be sure there is plenty of ice and a large container to make an ice bath, or provide your own, but let the host know.

If the guests need to provide their own serving utensils, the host must let them know. If a guest is bringing soup, someone will need to bring bowls and spoons; find out who.

Set up may take a while so be sure to get there on time - both hosts and guests. Hosts need to have someone available to help guests deliver their food to the right table. Guests need to know when to come, where to park, and how best to get the food to the right place at the right time. Both the host and the guests are on a 'need to know basis' and they both need to know everything!

Just Plain Courtesy

Guests need to ask the host what the clean up situation is. Do guests need to just get their own dishes out of there or will there be washing and scrubbing to do? The host should let the guests know ahead of time if there will be difficulty getting their cookware and utensils back right away. That will let guests arrange for disposable items if they are not comfortable bringing their good cookware.

If leftover food is to be discarded or distributed to anyone who wants it, the host will need to let the guests know the situation. Some people could be offended to see their food given away. Talk about this beforehand so plans can be made to gather up leftovers before they are given away or thrown away if this is the case. If guests are proud of their offerings, seeing them scraped into the dumpster would not sit well.

Guests cannot expect their host to provide containers if leftovers are to be shared. If you want to bring home food, you will need to have food containers ready. Also, if guests need to leave early, they can't expect to grab their dish and run without everyone having a chance to sample it. Guests are expected to make arrangements to get their dishes back later in that case. Yes, it would be rude to walk out with your dish before dinner is done.

And Last But Not Least...

Bring your recipe! Potlucks are usually about sharing a dish that you enjoy making. Participants in a potluck are anxious to get recipes for new dishes. That's half the fun. Print up a pile of recipe cards and don't be shy - share!

Knowing what to expect without expecting too much is a balancing act, but the host and guests can manage this by having and sharing all the information they can right upfront. Get the invitations out early, RSVP promptly, and everything should come off without a problem. All the host and guests have to do now is enjoy the fun!